Saturday, June 13, 2009

Where do we go from here?

Right now we're struggling with the one of the hardest fertility questions. When is enough enough? When do we finally call it quits?

I get pregnant pretty easily--5 times in the last 2 years, and that includes taking time off after methotrexate for my ectopic, and after my miscarriages, and after fibroid surgery... I hold onto that with some degree of pointless pride, as if to say "Look at me--I can get pregnant. My old eggs aren't completely useless after all."

So now, a week after my 5th pregnancy loss, 8 weeks this time, we're starting to think about next steps and I've never felt more lost. Could one more try be the elusive "good egg" we've been waiting for? Should we break down and follow my RE's recommendation for donor eggs, even though the idea of a stranger's DNA in my body feels like the most unnatural thing I could ever do? (Don't get me wrong--I think donor eggs are a wonderful option for those who feel comfortable with it. It's just no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to become one of them). Do we try IVF with my eggs, even though the success rates in my age group (41) are heartbreakingly low? I just don't know.