and then there was one...

I had u/s #2 today, and it was good news and bad news. The bad news is that baby #1 had a yolk sac but no fetal pole, so they are certain that it won’t make it. I asked if that was a blighted ovum, but they said those don’t usually have yolk sacs. So I guess this one just stopped developing at some point. #2 looks right on track sizewise, and had a yolk sac, fetal pole, and hb of 123, which they said was good. I am trying to stay positive, but feel like at the last u/s they both looked good. Now it’s one. Will it be none next time? I also have a bleed (SCH), which I’m scared to Google. The u/s tech made it seem like with my history I should really take it easy. The RE nurse said not to stress, that in her 6 years that none of her patients have ever miscarried b/c of an SCH. Of course, I realized later that she never sees anyone after about 8 or 9 weeks since they all get released back to their regular gynos. I’m not sure, but I think the SCH was what the last u/s tech saw and thought might be a 3rd sac. This tech just saw the 2 sacs plus the SCH, nothing else.

So we're just trying really hard to stay calm and positive until my ultrasound next week. I'll be so grateful if I have even one healthy pregnancy with my history, but I think I need a day or two to grieve the loss of the other pregnancy. Seeing it taken away so fast after looking just fine last week reminds me that it could happen to the remaining one too.

Oh, and I don't think I wrote about this, but a night or two after my post the nausea hit hard. No vomiting yet, but I feel really bad a lot of the time. It has been so reassuring. I never thought I'd be this happy to feel this bad!